Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

By as published in The New Yorker

“This author is clearly attempting to be politically correct by not outing the Pro-Slaughter Cult and BLM but I can easily see right through that ploy, see if you can too.” ~ R.T.


“As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

"If its true and factual, I don't want to hear it!"

“If its true and factual, I don’t want to hear it!”

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.

“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”

More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain. “The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified,” Logsdon said.

While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Logsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it’s possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.

12 comments on “Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

  1. Agreed this is tongue in cheek – BUT how true it is. Not only with our wild horses & burros, but how about the climate change deniers??? Sad..

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  2. My ancient and venerable World Encyclopedia (1953) lists the top ten intelligent animals–from chimpanzee #1 to horse #10….humans are not on the list—which might indicate a lot…..(we sure haven’t improved the lives of our fellow earth beings)

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  3. I guess the comment by “susanmeanslilly” was removed? Have seen her comments on other sites – always FOR slaughter. Thought possibly she had hit the wrong button.

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  4. I’m glad I circled back around to this discussion. I’m glad “susanmeanslilly” was removed. I almost fired back a response after I read it, but, I was taught to hold my tongue unless I have some useful or good to say.

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