Tongue-in-Cheek by R.T. Fitch
Animal Cruelty Runs Amuck at the Department of Interior
HOUSTON (SFTHH) – At a recent equine charity event in southeast Texas Secretary of the Department of the Interior, Ken Salazar, reportedly punched a wild horse in the mouth and rendered him unconscious in front of a herd of witnesses.
According to eye witness reports the Obama appointee showed up at the event somewhat confused or under the influence as he stated he was “stumping” for President Obama’s reelection.
One of the wild burros in attendance leaned over and quietly reminded the Secretary that the election was over and that Obama was reelected to which the campaigner replied “Say what?”
It was at that point a wild horse interjected that he hoped that Salazar was not campaigning on the public’s nickel and without even a second’s pause, the Secretary punched the horse squarely in the mouth while screaming, “I am going to slaughter you boy”.
The attacked wild equine went down like a ton of bricks and witness R.T. Fitch of Wild Horse Freedom Federation rushed to give the horse mouth to mouth resuscitation.
It is reported that Salazar swung so hard at the horse that the impact knocked his signature white straw hat from his head, but before the assailant could recover it a nearby wild burro quickly stomped, crushed and peed on it to the shock and awe of the attending crowd.
In retaliation Salazar reached down and pulled the legendary black hat off from the head of horse medic R.T. Fitch’s head and jumped up and down upon it. Reportedly, Fitch calmly turned from the fallen horse, who was now coming to, and said something to the effect that “real men where crushable hats.”`
Salazar then made a lunge at Fitch but was promptly stumbled up by a very quick miniature pony who leaned over Salazar’s decked out face and threatened that if Salazar didn’t get his low life ass out of the gathering that the herd would string him up by his Bolo tie. The Secretary exited on all fours while several benefit attendees called animal control for assistance.
Jerry Finch, president of Habitat for Horses, recorded the violent interaction on his iPhone and said, “It was like he had a psychotic thing against the wild horse, I have never seen anything like it. Maybe he fell off one when he was a small child.” Finch posted the video on YouTube under the title of “You ain’t gonna believe this Salazar Shite” and at this writing it has been viewed over 9,000,000 times.
Veterinary records indicate that the assaulted horse will recover but his confidence in the quality of federally appointed public officials is forever marred. The former wild horse, who requested to remain unnamed stated that: ” I knew that he was the guy who approved the stampede that pulled me and family from our home, separated us forever and then cut my nuts off but cheez…I figured if I could still have a sense of humor that at least he could too. I really didn’t appreciate being called ‘boy’, either.” he added.
Animal control authorities indicated to this reporter that this was not the first time the Cattle Baron DoI Secretary has assaulted animals. Records indicate that past incidents have included a savage drunken attack upon Grey Wolves with the governor of Wyoming as co-conspirator and fudging federal census records on sage grouse so as to alter their voting status.
Related Articles
- Obama’s Secretary of Interior Ken Salazar Threatens Violence over Wild Horse Slaughter Story (rtfitchauthor.com)
- Wild Horse Czar Salazar Says He Regrets Threat to “Punch Out” Reporter (rtfitchauthor.com)
- Salazar says he ‘regrets’ threatening to punch Gazette reporter (gazette.com)
- Salazar said to have threatened to “punch out” reporter (denverpost.com)
- Ken Salazar Wants To Punch Someone (nationalreview.com)
- OUR VIEW: Thanks, Secretary Salazar (gazette.com)
- Man Under Federal Investigation For Selling Wild Horses To Slaughter Houses Worked On Salazar Family Farm (thecoloradoobserver.com)
- Salazar calls Gazette to apologize for threat (gazette.com)
- Salazar phones reporter to apologize for punch threat (horsetalk.co.nz)
- Salazar threatens reporter after wild-horse questions (horsetalk.co.nz)
Categories: The Force of the Horse
INDEED, Just typical of his type. The answer to every problems is either beat them, kick them or kill them
.
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IT’s sad, that one could be so cruel.
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he should loose his easy rocking chair job and be find. He is no better the Vick on animal abuse
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Recurring nightmare, but we aren’t sleepin… 😦
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Absolutely love how you tackled this topic.
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Now we get a happy Saturday story PLUS a happy Sunday one???
Very entertaining, RT
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OMG..I was reading this with my serious face and then i realized it was humor and started laughing my rear end off. Cute RT and it aint even Sunday..lol. Thanks for the chuckle.
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Ah – if it were only true, right?
I do think our wonderful DOI “leader” has shot his wad – so to speak. May he do this many more times in public.
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I smell Onions! Have a good weekend, RT and Terry!
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Love it. Unfortunately Salazar made it out alive. This story would have ended better if the entire herd had run him down; and finished his reign of horror in a flash of thundering hooves.
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I really enjoyed this tale of Salazar’s stupidity. Great writing.
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He’s an ass and I don’t be donkey or burro…
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LOL – Visualizing the Secretary crawling out on all fours is a hoot.
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Im crawling on all fours laughing, loved what he Burro did…………………..
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Why is it that public officials are more and more ignorant, cruel and mean. Well for one thing we must vote for the appointed, we are not asked. Politicians, world wide are the worst cance humanity, LIFE HAS, only closely followed by religions.
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Americans, citizens of the world, do no laugh, TAKE ACTION. Enough is enough, if he is behaving like this in public, can you imagine in private areas. And I only fear how he will get back at the horses and burros.
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Great satire, RT. For those of you who haven’t already, please consider signing this petition to stop the roundups: http://signon.org/sign/stop-the-excessive-roundups.
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Psychopath will get his karma, just like the nazi war criminals. He deserves no less.
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FOUND IT
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A sure sign he’s loosing it..he must go. He’s a blood bath to horses and people alike.
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