Horse News

Horse Meat Super Bowl Pizza Sickens Fans

by R.T. Fitch, author of “Straight from the Horse’s Heart

HOUSTON – (SFTHH)  How often do we take the time to peer under the stones and rocks that our horses kick up as we ride down the trail of the Internet Forest?  Not too often as we are usually on a mission with a destination in mind.  But the other day, I made the mistake of dismounting, kneeling and looked down at a squirming, slimy life form that I should have ridden past.  That little bug-eyed monster was one Ira Scott, the pride of Indiana and the alleged “inventor” of Road Kill Pizza.

Ole Ira has been kicking around the internet since, at the least, 2006 promoting a brilliant concept that must have taken either a lot of booze or wacky tabaccy to spawn, or hurl, the ”Road Kill Pizza”.

12-18-2006 Merrillville , IN  – An Indiana man hopes to market a new line of literal roadkill pizza where the toppings would be scooped out of the remains the animals killed in road. Named as Roadkill Frozen Pizza, inventor Ira Scott is literally on-the-road picking up roadkill and making frozen pizza pies out of highway flattened critters.”

Yup, if you dig deep enough you can find offbeat news stories about Ira being the “inventor” of a new type of frozen pizza that has killed and flattened animals as the main ingredient.  Ira brags that he has tried these perverted pizzas out on his unsuspecting college buddies with great results.  (This speaks to age, maturity level and intellectual capabilities)

Though still under development, Scott tried his unique highway pizza concept out on his college friends without letting them know. To his surprise they loved it, which encouraged him to do it for real.

“The type of animals you accidentally run over while driving your car determines the flavor profile of your pizza, it’s the ultimate mystery meat lover’s experience,” said Scott.

“Toppings differ only by the geographical region, alligator in Florida or armadillo in Texas and perhaps flattened ground hog in Pennsylvania.” explained Scott.”

But these  old, offbeat stories weren’t enough for Scott as he released a story, last week, that his latest,  putrid pizza is a Super Bowl special that is made up of the opposing teams’ mascots; horse meat on one side for the Colts and shrimp and other Cajun delectable’s on the other for the Saints.  And if that is not enough, the connoisseur of dead animals says that the pizza will dictate the winner, in this case, the delicious horse meat means that the Colts will win.  “The Pizza never lies.”

Ira confirmed, with one of our reporters, that he special ordered the horse meat all the way from France as it is illegal in the U.S..  What Ira doesn’t seem to know is that the EU and Canada are imposing new restrictions on horse meat for human consumption because horse meat is known to be tainted with carcinogenic drugs as horses are not considered to be food animals in civilized, western cultures.  So ole Ira might not be with us much longer; his demise (and that of his college buddies) might be the very grotesque pizzas that they claim to “invent”.

During the interview Ira was more than glad to discuss in detail the ingredients of his Road Kill Super Bowl pizza and disclosed the fact that the horse meat he allegedly uses is in the form of jerky.  So it does not take too many brain cells to deduce that, perhaps, the biggest Jerky is not what is found on the pizza but, instead, the one who claims to make it.

Go away Ira, both you and your pizza make us sick.

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19 replies »

  1. O M Gosh this makes me ashamed to be from Indiana!!!!!! What a sick, sick, sick person, shame on you Ira for showing our state up in such a bad light at such an important time for so many of our people.

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    • I know what your mean, Lori. Although I’m not a Hoosier, I live in IN now and my husband is from around here.

      I sent ole Ira an email inquiring about the country of origin of the equine in question, telling him that if it came from the US, well, let’s just say he should make an appointment with an oncologist ASAP. Guess that goes for his friends as well, huh?

      EEEEYEWW!

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  2. Just my thought:

    Has anyone tried to educate Ira Scott on the details of his special order horsemeat from France? I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt first and give him a chance to make a well informed decision about the pizza he is planning to create for Sunday’s game.

    I feel like the lone stranger in Wisconsin. Everyone I talk to has the same remark “I had no idea”.

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  3. I’d like to know what the Indy Colts franchise and the NFL have to say about this.

    This is just more ignorant followed by a ton of stupid…but this guy is getting a ton (or would that be kilos) of tranction.

    Imported horseflesh “jerky” is the least of the equines and our problems, but it is worth the post….can anyone spell “drugs”????

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  4. I see the FOB CULT of TERRORISTS has made their appearance. Go back to worshipping your dead horse and his siblings who will never be what you expect them to be.

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  5. It is the fault of Ira Scott that the Colts were badly beaten in the Super Bowl. He served disgusting, cruel, and downright creepy horsemeat pizza (probably not quite legal either) and jinxed his team. For my part, I cheered. Hated the pizza guy SO much that I switched teams and came out the winner. Ut’s Scott’s fault for being a germ! Horses are NOT food animals and slaughtering them for such is inhumane.

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  6. What’s wrong with eating horses? It’s a hoofed animal that eats grass–it’s what’s for dinner. I find the bias against horse meat to be COMPLETELY inexplicable. The fact that people turn them into pets doesn’t make them any less LIVESTOCK, no different from a cow, a llama, or a sheep.

    Horse meat is lean, gets more tender as the animal ages, and is reportedly delicious. It’s a very healthy meat, low in calories and high in protein. The French apparently aren’t keeling over from eating it.

    Horses are not food animals? WHY NOT? Slaughtering them is inhumane? In what way is it different from slaughtering any other animal? It’s not, of course. Animal rights activists are trying to legislate a food taboo, and the sad part is, they are succeeding.

    They have everyone convinced that horses are just like cats and dogs (which are carnivores). Not that there is anything inherently wrong with eating those, either.

    But seriously, if I had an old horse that needed to be ‘retired’, I would eat it. I can’t think of a single reason why not. I have yet to HEAR of a good reason why not.

    If you’re worried about strange drugs and chemicals in the meat, maybe you should be worried about what people are giving those poor animals. If the drugs are carcinogenic to us, how on earth could they be good for the horse? Don’t give your horse dangerous drugs, and it will be safe to eat it when the time comes. No sense in letting an entire freezer full of good meat go to waste. That is the REAL horror and tragedy–all that waste of good, nutritious food, due to nothing more than sentiment over a hoofed herbivore.

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